¡Ay, dolor, hecho de la música!

My history as a musician is a sad one, or a lacking one. Sadness is for those suffering losses. I simply lacked education and/or the motivation to get it. I never learned to read music, for a start. We had free violin lessons at school, but they taught via the Suzuki method, which did not teach sight reading of music until students were at a more advanced level than I reached. I took up the guitar in high school but mostly learned chords and scales. I gave it up at some point in my twenties, as I wasn’t passionate about it. There was other dabbling, such as with harmonicas and piano. My skills for my dabbling instruments never moved beyond beginner level. In other words, I’m not a natural at music. Fast forward to the future when my heart was taken by the accordion. Learning an instrument, really learning it this time, in one’s forties is probably not the best way, but it isn’t impossible.

At the start of my journey, I had a few instructional books, including a book of scales. I used to keep my books in a pocket in my accordion case. It wasn’t a proper case, but a “gig” bag. That was why it had a pocket in it for music. As it was a cheaper Hohner Panther accordion, buying an expensive hard case for it didn’t seem worthwhile. All my books were, therefore, destroyed with the Hohner in the accident. Some of these books I’ve moved past in skill and don’t care much about. Others, I’d like to replace, but, unfortunately, they are all out of print and nearly impossible to find. One of them specifically taught sight reading for the accordion, which I appreciated, albeit it used the American music notation. None taught the songs I listen to on the radio — or YouTube or Spotify. I had one video tutorial I’d purchased on CD that had Flaco Jimenez teaching some traditional songs. Just watching him is inspirational. Flaco is the best. Also, I like his personality.

I’m a stereotype, really, amongst norteño accordeonistas because the first song I learned was Tragos Amargos. It’s not a difficult song, though I’m not sure why it’s the ultimate song for student acordeonistas to learn first. It’s funny how the word “ultimate” has evolved in English to not just mean “last” but to also imply something is “the epitome.” Because I listen to Spanish so frequently, I found myself adding the word “first” as a descriptor so that my audience didn’t think I meant “last.” Moving past that little rabbit trail, I found Tragos Amargos on El Bigshow’s YouTube channel. I used to love doing his tutorials. I still do them every once in a while. He’s easy to follow and has a teaching personality I like; I’m particular about personalities, and that’s going to be a heightened snobbery regarding any artists. I’m sorry, I apologize — it’s just that artists are annoying. Anyway, for most people struggling to pick up an instrument, mastering a song they enjoy will help get them past the hurdle of frustration that comes with learning an instrument. There’s a reason I used to force myself to play only half an hour a day five days a week. It was hard work, but I knew if I put at least a little time in, I’d start enjoying it and experience less frustration. Now I play an hour each day, seven days a week. I would play longer if I had the time.

Another goal that helped me jump over my hurdles of frustration was to be able to play along with songs I liked. It’s one thing to know how to play a song. Playing at speed and with good musicality is another skill. The first song I could play along with was Abeja Reina. I didn’t, however, learn that from one tutorial. I learned the song from various sources, including listening to the song itself (by Los Traileros). Playing with my favorite accordion players has been tricky, to put it mildly. Yes, I can play a handful of simple songs with the recordings, such as the aforementioned, and La del Moño Colorado, Navido Pavido, Hay Unos Ojos, etc. Simple songs…but honestly, playing along is a big hurdle to jump over.

Sometimes, I look at my musical history and realize that it’s a royal mess. Despite never learning to read music with fluency, I did learn the basic structure. FACE and Every Good Boy… You know. And then along came this obsession with norteño, and I’ve had to adapt to the tonic scale. In Spanish, the tonic scale is do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, si. No ti with jam and bread, sorry. I play a Fa accordion, which has a row of Fa, Sib, and Mib. The b stands for bemol, which means flat. In America, they are denoted as F, Bb, Eb; I assume the b used for flat comes from the Latin. This is the most commonly played accordion in norteño; that’s why I chose it. I’ve also noticed numerous songs are played in Sib and Mib. I was listening intently to a song the other day because I wanted to learn it and realized the entire song is played on the Mib scale in terceras (thirds). In theory, it’s an easy song to play. More on that in a minute.

I often watch Body Project videos for my exercise, and even when they’re not that difficult, Daniel, in his Aussie accent, tells us we’ve gotten to the point of “mass carnage” on the exercise floor. That’s how I feel about my musical journey at this point. Norteño musicians speak and sing and write in Spanish. They use the tonic scale…in Spanish. I started playing in my forties. I’m still in my forties (for a little while longer), so I haven’t been playing that long. It’s carnage, my brains splattered everywhere. Some days, I understand everything because my brain has adapted, and other days, I just can’t. I can’t figure out the fingering on a song, and if I watch a tutorial, I can’t understand the Spanish. Well, I’m sure I can. It’s just so much extra work. And I’m tired. I suppose opera singers feel the same if they didn’t grow up speaking Italian or German. Maybe scientists do, too, because it’s guaranteed they didn’t grow up with Latin spoken at home. If I’m going to be a norteño accordion player, Spanish will be my trade language, and I have to accept that. By the way, I love Spanish. My love of Spanish long predates my love of the accordion. The only problem is it’s not my first language.

Unfortunately, I’ve reached a point where the frustration with my instrument has returned. Yes, it’s carnage on the exercise floor. I don’t know how to push past this intermediate level I’m playing at. If my fingers were more flexible or if they could keep up with the complicated songs, I could enter the realm of competent musicians. Being competent isn’t what it’s about, though. It’s about the magic. That’s what I want. There are mechanics to it. A song that sounds easy almost never is. There are runs of hidden notes that are played in fast arpeggios that add to that sound but aren’t immediately obvious. And don’t forget the trinos. Trinos are everywhere. In English, that would be a trill. Trinos are what give the norteño accordion such a distinctive and magical sound, and they aren’t as easy as noodling back and forth between alternating buttons; I mean, yes, they are that easy. But there is still a technique to it. There is also the…whatsit that can’t be defined or broken down. Achieving that is like trying to physically capture any intangible. Music itself is inexplicable to a materialistic world. How does one capture the inexplicable? The magic? The thoughts, prayers, or feelings that can’t be put into words? The norteño accordion is, in my not so humble opinion, the most magical of all instruments. I just wish that magic would emerge from my fingers.

Spanish, Dalí, & a Little Lorca

Christ of St. John of the Cross

Imitations or reproductions of Dalí’s famous painting are rife in the Catholic world, with an imitation in the office where I work. It takes me back to high school, when I loved Dalí’s artwork. Also, I had just started taking Spanish in school and therefore believed I could read my dad’s battered paperback of Federico Garcia Lorca’s poetry. These are related subjects, I promise, and not simply because I’m discussing Spaniards who, obviously, spoke Spanish.

We had to study a language; it was mandatory in high school. It doesn’t make much sense at that point, however. Learning a second language should have been mandatory from kindergarten onwards. I have an elderly friend at my parish who attended a private American school where they spoke Polish in classes. She still understands and speaks Polish to this day because of her early exposure to it, despite living in an English-only culture. I will never understand the English-only cultural philosophy. It’s not just xenophobic; it’s an example of my least favorite personality trait in individuals, let alone entire cultures: proud ignorance. Generally, I call this the Cult of Stupid. You can spot members because they roll their eyes and complain if you use words with more than two syllables. They think it’s snooty or some such, without recognizing the irony that syllables has three.

Could I actually read the Lorca book? Sure. It had English translations on the right hand-pages. My dad is not a Spanish speaker, after all. I loved learning the pretty vocabulary in the book, as it set me apart from other first-year learners of Spanish. I’ve always had a big vocabulary, and even though I failed pretty badly at English classes in school, I do have the ability to dissect words to determine what they mean. This gives me an even further edge regarding an intellectual grasp of a second language. It’s too bad this process often confuses words for me rather than making them clear. I ran into a funny example this morning. The word equivocarse and its various forms are related to the verb in English to equivocate. By the way, this might not be a commonly used word in English, but it is a common word in Spanish — like so many Latin words that have more than two syllables. In English, this word takes on the meaning of obscuring the truth. To equivocate is either for the purpose of being circumspect or being deceptive. In Spanish, it has the connotation of simply being wrong. I came across a video with the title, Estos policias se metieron con la chica equivocada… It took me a pretty minute, being in an English frame of mind, to realize a correct translation would be “The police messed with the wrong girl…!” My mind wanted it to be deceptive instead of wrong, but it was clear from the context of the video that the girl was innocent, and the police were the deceptive ones. Context is the best guide to learning a language, and so much for my intellectual, dissecting approach. In fact, although this is a bit of a digression, the only way to understand someone speaking Spanish to me is not to be myself, and to listen without focusing on any one word, picking up the sense from the context. If I stop to pick apart words, I have already lost the rest of the conversation. And unlike a language test in school, I’m not going to earn points for translating a few words correctly.

Lorca and Dalí were close friends, albeit I didn’t know this when I was in high school. I only knew I liked reading through my dad’s books, which also included art books featuring Dalí. I’ve loved Spanish ever since I was first introduced to it; that’s all I want to say about that. This post was meant to be about Dalí. But there is a point of overlap with my previous discussion that is much greater than my dad’s bookcases, as it’s clear from reading about Dalí and studying his artwork that he also took the analytical approach to life. He studied the master artists and picked apart the elements in them in order to understand them, and then he spent some time imitating them. Because of this, he’s known as a master of craft. When he created surreal art, he was playing with ideas that intrigued him. For much of his young years, Freudian psychoanalysis was a large part of what intrigued him. He met Freud; Freud didn’t like the surrealists and couldn’t understand why they were fascinated with him. He liked Dalí, though. He liked his genuine fanaticism.

Dalí was also intrigued by the physics of time and space. This in turn intrigued me as a young person. Beauty is timeless, and I will never cease to appreciate landscapes and portraits that capture the personalities inherent to people and places. But playing with ideas perhaps appeals to me even more. Another artist I appreciate for this is M.C. Escher. They both clearly loved playing with what is possible in flat geometric spaces. These two artists have a number of similarities in thinking, to be honest. They both loved the ideas they were representing and loathed politics. Neither wished to be pinned down politically, during a time when being a surrealist artist meant something political. Dalí was actually voted out of the surrealists because he eschewed Marxism and, especially as he grew older, defended Catholicism, eventually returning to his nation’s historical faith (he even had his longtime civil marriage “convalidated” in the church.) Escher was apparently part of a Christian religious order, as well, but he was as quiet about that subject as he was about politics. Dalí enjoyed creating controversy; Escher did not. There are other artists I love because they have an absurdist, intellectual approach — William Hogarth is one that long predates surrealism.

What about Lorca, though? I don’t know; for me, he was simply the first Spanish poet I read. He and Dalí were artistic friends, but Lorca’s approach was different than Dalí’s. He was a gay socialist, fitting neatly into the world of the avant garde. Dalí never fit in, and nor did he want to. He lived to a ripe old age, changing his psychoanalytic approach over the years to bizarre perspectives of Jesus on the cross. Meanwhile, Lorca was assassinated under a fascist regime (though there is some controversy regarding why and by whom).

Like Dalí, ideas are really what drive me forward. Because of that, I will probably never arrive at a place where I’m an artist at storytelling or making music, or a natural with language and communication. But every time I see Dalí’s crosses in my environment, I’m reminded that there are famous artists who don’t approach the world with a traditional artistic temperament. So, perhaps, I still have a fighting chance. By the way, I have tried to subvert the intellectual approach in learning the accordion, but mostly because I don’t have time to give it an extensive study. I want to live in the magic of the instrument and play the songs I love. However, I’ve determined that taking a more intellectual approach will work better for me, having the emotional artistic state of a gnat. So, I’ve stepped back to think through music theory. In Spanish. The problem with my accordion playing is that it’s always been in Spanish. Switching to English would not be a great idea now that I’m used to Do Re Mi Fa Sol La Si, mi acordeon en tono de Fa, and hearing ahora, tocamos la escala de Sibemol en terceras. I know what that is and can play it. If someone switched to now we’ll play the scale of B flat in thirds, I’d probably panic. Intellectuals just do not switch gears with ease, I’m sorry to say. That’s why we’re often labelled fanatics (see Freud on Dalí above). We get obsessed and taken with an idea and must hammer it out to its conclusion.

El Tema Más Importante

I wrote several very long paragraphs on the Social Contract and then put it aside in my drafts because I honestly hate preaching about subjects such as this. While I appreciate reading about philosophy, politics, and religion, and how they intermingle, there comes a point where people are preaching and nobody is listening. Furthermore, nobody is changing society at all. Oh, yes, of course, one can change society little by little through the infiltration of ideas in schools and universities; progressives did this throughout the 20th C and are still at work today. But sadly, my post was triggered by irritation at the manipulation behind the phrase social contract…and if I keep going, I might as well just pull out my post from its place in the dreaded wasteland of drafts. Another tantalizing yet frustrating subject I had brought up in that post is my unpopular opinion that lowering the teenage pregnancy rate is not positive progress but negative decline. And on that note…

The most important subject is obviously the Gospel. However, the most important subject to this blog has become music. Accordions. My mind has been dwelling on purchasing a new one. After spending $4K on one, you’d think I wouldn’t buy another one for a long time. What you don’t understand is that accordions are like very expensive harmonicas, and acordeonistas need different keys. The one that died in the traffic accident was a GCF. After reviewing numerous norteño songs, I discovered that most are played on the FBbEb accordion. Hence, I purchased one. However, I would still like to have a GCF again, as that is the second most commonly played instrument. Someday, I will purchase an EAD because that one is also occasionally played in the genre. In fact, the master Ramon Ayala often plays an EAD. This confused me for a long time, as I thought EAD was commonly played, but I was being swayed by the sound of Ayala’s songs.

Apart from desiring a GCF accordion, I would also like an accordion with bass buttons that aren’t dummy buttons. Yes, that’s correct; my expensive Gabbanelli has dummy buttons. I suppose this is so that bass blocks could be added at some point; there are tiny tornillos that can be unscrewed to open up the left-handed bass side of the instrument. I’ve heard it’s difficult to persuade the company to put in bass blocks because it will create a weightier instrument with an altered sound. When norteño as a genre has a familiar sound due to the fact that so many of the musicians play Gabbanellis, it’s a bit risky to make any changes. The only way to have pre-installed bass blocks is to buy a cheaper instrument. Therefore, I’m considering purchasing a Hohner Corona II or Classic, which are quality instruments (made in Germany), in order to practice with the left hand again. Also, if the accordion is the only instrument available, and I’m playing for family or friends, songs would be more complete with their bass parts. Of course, norteño bands have rhythm instruments, so they don’t use the left hand anyway. In fact, one of my favorite online accordion tutorial teachers has a video on how to remove the bass blocks from your instrument for the above stated reason. There is already a bajo sexto y bajo in the group.

But that isn’t to say no norteño acordeonistas use the left hand — Celso Piña, who has now passed away, used his bass buttons in cumbias. I enjoy his songs because they have a different sound. I also really enjoy watching videos of him playing live. It’s exciting, the music infectious. He played a Hohner Corona, by the way. Believe it or not, you will even find musicians who play piano accordions in this genre. One of my favorites is Fidel Rueda. I don’t know how to describe his music, except as “sexy” but that sounds crass and doesn’t quite express what I want to say when his vocals, the accordion, and the brass blend together. I should probably make up a word, instead.

Speaking of word invention, there is a word for that in Spanish. It is jitanjáfora. I learned this word some time ago when I was trying to figure out what El Pávido Návido means. That’s the name of a song, and it disheartened me when I realized one day I had no idea what it meant, and I’m tired of my poor Spanish vocabulary. Don’t get me wrong; I can understand the music tutorials and interviews I listen to because they have necessary context. But then I’m thrown by a catchy song title. As it turns out, the title is a jitanjáfora. That’s either a relief or not, since I don’t know Spanish well enough to recognize nonsense rhyming words. Today, I will post pictures of the two rebel accordion players I mentioned. You can seek out their songs if you choose.

From Wiki Commons

This is an album cover; I hope it’s okay to post. I wanted an image with accordion!

“Mexicano hasta al tope…” and other not so random thoughts

The part in quotes is a line from Corrido de Juanito, which, as you know, I’ve been learning on the accordion. Because I listen to the song on repeat, I have it permanently stuck in my head and consequently sing it all the time, especially the line above. The funny thing is the line ends up sounding like a commercial when sung on repeat, por ejemplo, “The best part of waking up is being Mexican to the top!” I’m sure you can hear the Folgers song in there, no need to spell it out.

Most of the time, I live in my musical fantasy world, my favorite songs filling my head and keeping me going after my three hours of sleep per night. But then I will have moments when reality wakes me out of my sleep-deprived reverie, and I ask myself who exactly I think I am. I’m certainly not Mexicana hasta al tope. Because of that, some old college friends might call my norteño obsession and accordion playing cultural appropriation. Is it, though? Is it really?

The accordion is German in origin; the name comes from the German akkordeon. Mexicans appropriated the instrument from another culture, in other words — from the German immigrants who settled in Texas and Northern Mexico. This is what happens when cultures rub shoulders. They influence each other. It is unavoidable, or should be. When cultures share music, dancing, and food with each other, they tend to get along a lot better than if they stay suspicious and aloof from each other. There is much cultural snobbery and myopia when people get their hackles up over hoarding aspects of their culture.

I will never forget the article I read years ago, in which a Chinese-American woman claimed the bone-broth fad was appropriation of Chinese culture. It didn’t seem to occur to her that cultures all over the world might have been cooking bone broths for millennia. This doesn’t even fall under the category of sharing; it rather signifies our forebears’ mutual necessity to utilize all parts of the animals they slaughtered. The Chinese were not alone in this.

If I were to only play the music of my culture, I would play the fiddle or one of those tiny accordions popular with hillbillies and the Irish. My family was part of Irish dance culture for years, and I distinctly recall hearing the accordion playing the same jigs and reels fifty times over. I mean, it’s not a matter of recall. All those jigs and reels are indelibly printed on my psyche along with big wigs and bling. But alas, the Irish don’t count Americans of Irish ancestry as being Irish, and there goes my culture. Like so many Americans, I simply have a mezcla of cultural parts and pieces, which includes Mexican pieces because I’ve lived around them my entire life.

Is there such a thing as cultural appropriation in America? I’m going to say yes. I was thinking about this at dawn, having been awake for hours. My body was achy and sore and I thought I might like to do some yoga. I don’t do yoga, though. Oh, sure, I used to. I appreciated its efficiency in strengthening and stretching the body at the same time. I also argued with other Christians who claimed it was wrong to participate in another religion’s worship. They argued against it because yoga, after all, means yoked, as in yoked to spirits and gods Christians don’t worship. I’ve always found it a little bizarre when Christian churches offer yoga hours in their fellowship halls, but doing it as exercise in one’s living room, sans spiritual components, I thought was quite all right.

The way Americans practice yoga is areligious to be sure, but it’s hugely disrespectful of another culture’s religious practice. I’m not sure what hyper conservative Hindus, who still believe in modesty, think of Americans who do Yoga Booty while wearing pants so clingy you can see every bump and jiggle on the legs and backside, wearing the pants to show off the effectiveness of the exercise. The way we practice yoga might very well be what people mean when they cry, Cultural appropriation! It’s rude and offensive. That and maybe chintzy plastic Native American dolls and fake moccasins. Marketing off a culture we very nearly wiped out to extinction no doubt leaves a bad taste in the mouth of the extant native tribes.

Speaking of weird activities Christian churches get up to, along with showing off their jiggly booties…no, I don’t think they make moccasins or plastic dolls or even bone broth. At one time, it was standard charity in England for bones to be used multiple times, once at the wealthy person’s house, who supped on the richest broth, of course, until finally the picked-clean bones were ransferred to the poorest of the poor to make broth with. But church food pantries these days are more inclined to collect canned vegetables and beans than spare animal parts. No, the weird activity I was going to mention is doing counseling sessions using the Enneagram personality typing system. In response, Reformed-style Christians are horrified, despite the dubious occultic roots behind Enneagram.

There are no known accusations of cultural appropriation regarding Enneagram; I just find it amusing that Christians have latched onto it AND that more Reformed types are making a fuss of it. I wouldn’t care one way or the other if Christians didn’t have a peculiar problem with lacking self-awareness. They make lofty claims that we shouldn’t be looking to any other source but the Bible for help, but what they really mean is “I don’t want to know anything about what I’m really like inside.” In other words, they don’t want to be faced with their own egos. Obviously, the ones using the Enneagram are busy identifying with their egos, looking straight into them, but that is not to say that there aren’t many Christians who refuse to look.

I took the Enneagram once, at my husband’s insistence, as he found it gave him an accurate description of his personality. Modern Enneagram type descriptions are incredibly detailed, unlike the truly occultic horoscopes. This might be why some people have an aversion to Enneagram. It’s not always pleasant to read that you fit an archetype that isn’t 100% positive. Was the type I tested as an accurate description of me? Sure, it was…at the time. And I really didn’t like it; hence, it motivated me to not be “my type” as much as possible.

Being self aware is a good starting point for making good choices in this life; I suppose one could be self aware and still make wrong choices. For example, a truly invested thief could be a proud criminal. Or maybe in more ordinary circumstances, a person might learn to identify with their negative traits and never seek growth. Well, I admit I still have personality traits I’m working on. I often shut the world out so I can pursue my personal goals, which my Enneagram description predicts. That pattern of behavior is so ingrained I believe it would be difficult to change. Like my pursuit of the accordion, for example… No, no, I have examined my interior and decided playing norteño on the accordion is a good choice. A wonderfully positive choice. It had better be. That norteño style accordion I bought was really expensive. Plus, I love singing in Spanish. Here it comes again. I. Can’t. Stop. Singing… Mexicano hasta al tope. It’s somehow gratifying to sing a song about someone with an intact culture, even though part of the song’s sadness is the subsequent loss of culture in the US, loss brought on by Juanito’s children no longer speaking Spanish.